INSTRUCTIONS: every member of the group writes on the cards:
1. a character name and attribute [eg martha the vandal]
2. an obstacle [eg main character is blind]
3. a setting [eg inner london]
4. a *disturbance* or event [eg a stranger arrives]
5. another character [eg dark stranger]
6. a premise or idea [eg this game is about justice]
place each card type in separate piles and shuffle them - each member of the group takes a card and has to put together a plot and tell the story
post the stories your JOURNAL BLOGS - each story should be told in well under 50 words - ensure a decent unity of action - a beginning, middle and end ..
*Note: The (freedom) note is something I scribbled down after trying to figure out what Henry is.
After a rather mad scramble, I got six post-its but I don't plan on writing a story in 50 words. Given what could happen, the story of Henry the Theoretical Force sort of demands more than 50 words.
The following story contains much swearing and drug abuse. Sorry, Dave hasn't got any manners.
EPISODE #54 - It Came Out of A Sandwich
[Dramatis personæ]
NARRATOR, a Disembodied Voice
HENRY, a Theoretical Force
DAVE, the Happy Crack Dealer
COPS, a group of highly ineffective law enforcement officers
RADIO, a pair of deus ex machinas
NARRATOR:
Following his misadventures in episode #231 "Attack of the Killer Munchies", Dave the Happy Crack Dealer had evaded the police by diving into a dumpster. Disguising himself with old banana peels and Doritos wrappers, Dave quickly adopts a freegan lifestyle. We now present a tale of high action and liberation, coated in a dense layer of mediocrity, episode #54 "It Came Out Of A Sandwich".
FX:
[Police sirens, running footsteps and heavy breathing can be heard]
FX:
[Police radio cuts in, lots of static]
RADIO OFFICER:
All units to convene at City Hall, armed and ready. Repeat, armed and ready at City Hall.
FX:
[Footsteps and squad car door slams. Heavy breathing stops]
COP B:
Damn Rushkies! Ya kno' dis city ain' had no peace since dem royals stopped makin' babies.
COP A:
Yeah, yeah. Pass over 'em tasers. It's gonna be a rough nite.
FX:
[Car revs up and drives away. Sirens fade out. Dumpster lid can be heard]
DAVE:
Fuck, I thought I was screwed. [snorts] Ahh, that's some good shit.
FX:
[Crackling of chip packets, plastic bags and falling tin cans]
DAVE:
Half a sandwich! [crackle] Cheetos! Yeah, I'm going to have me some delicious. [eating noises]
HENRY:
Dave, Dave, you must help me.
DAVE:
Fuck! Henry, can't ya see a man's eating here. What you want now? I thought you weren't coming to see me anymore. [grunts]
FX:
[Thump and rustling of garbage]
HENRY:
Dave, did you just snort some cocaine?
DAVE:
I'm a crack dealer, course I snort the shit. As an all seeing force, you're a dumb fuck.
HENRY:
I'm a theoretical force, not an omnipotent force. Dave, will you listen to me? This matter is important.
DAVE:
[sighs] Yeah, whatever. It's not going to like the time we stared at those goats, is it? Those woolly bitches gave me the willies.
FX:
[Police radio crackles and the dumpster lid slams]
RADIO:
All units are reminded that the Prince is armed and dangerous. Deadly Force has been granted to all units. I repeat, shoot to kill.
FX:
[Sirens, guns and cars get fainter. Dumpster lid slams.]
NARRATOR:
After much talk about old ladies, life and the price of bananas, Dave and Henry proceed to walk around the city. Dave is unaware that Henry has convinced him to purchase a series of university texts while Dave has secret motives to liberate a large stash of drugs from the police.
FX:
[Loud crashes and explosions can be heard. Police sirens and gun shots fade in and out. Dave's laughter can be heard.]
DAVE:
Booyeah, I am the Superman!
FX:
[Loud explosions and a machine gun fires briefly.]
HENRY:
Dave, please will you get those books off that shelf. Dave!
COP A:
Police! Put down that cardboard lady...?
FX:
[Loud crashes and fade]
NARRATOR:
Problems begin when Henry is unable to open the books and Dave is beaten up by a pair of Siamese twins who steal all his money.
FX:
[Scuffling and yelling is heard. A thump follows.]
HENRY:
Curses, I forgot I don't have arms. Dave, Dave?
DAVE:
Shove it Henry. [in pain] Why don't you just shove it.
HENRY:
Dave, please.
DAVE:
Fuck it Henry. If you don't shut up I'm going to burn them damn books.
FX:
[Sirens and gun shots can be heard]
RADIO:
The war between the West and East Royal Family factions entered public scrutiny again as an explosion killed over 100 people.
COP B:
Youse, freeze. Hey I'm talkin' to youse!
FX:
[Gun shots]
NARRATOR:
Henry and Dave's relationship crumbles when after a bad day of running away from the police, Dave burns all the books that he's collected for Henry.
FX:
[Fire crackles]
DAVE:
Damn you to fucking hell. The police have been on our tail for days.
HENRY:
No... Dave please, I really need those books. Please. I never told you this but I...
DAVE:
Shut up! You little whiney bitch! Just leave.
FX:
[Popping noise]
NARRATOR:
With that single pop, Henry disappeared from Dave's life.
DAVE:
Finally. What a douche. I can get back to work.
NARRATOR:
[cough] Back to our story. Dave finds himself able to continue with his work as the Happy Drug Dealer without the strange adventures of stealing Jungian and Socratic texts. Sadly he is unaware that this has all been an extremely bizarre dream that resulted from eaten a half eaten sandwich he found in the dumpster.
DAVE:
The pastrami was good or was that rat?
HENRY:
I disliked my ending, can I change it?
FX:
[Sirens]
COP B:
Gotcha, I'm a goin' enjoy beatin' your ass.
FX:
[Theme song]
NARRATOR:
Next Week, Will Dave the Happy Crack Dealer be able to survive 30 minutes of Bingo the Birthday Clown? Tune in for episode #148 "Star Crunch is a Serial". Don't forget to tune in for the special presentation of episode #0-75-A "The Return of Henry". How will Dave be able to combat Henry the Theoretical Force, now powered by a Joseph Campbell Narrative engine?
Sorry that was utter shit.. Maybe I will rewrite it at some point.
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